I've been preparing for this for a couple of days now... you must do this so that your sanity is not lost in the midst of blogging about such a crazy individual... sometimes when you research people like Ebony Haith, your ability to remain calm is rather limited. Shall we embark on the blog entry of the century that is about the wondrous and very openly gay Ebony Haith? Yes, I think we shall do so.
BIOGRAPHY
She was born in... Holy fuck! *grasps chest* 1979??!?! Jesus... She's 31 years old. Well, she hasn't aged a bit.
Totally being sarcastic... she definitely has aged. Okay, so before the show she was a make up artist. That's cute, that's cute. I guess her personal hero is her aunt, because she overcame cancer, and she raised 5 adopted children, one of them being Ebony. That is actually a touching story. Good for Ebony for being able to overcome whatever obstacles she's had to face in her life. I applaud sincerely. For real. I may sound like a cold-hearted bitch just being horribly sarcastic, but I truly think Ebony did amazing to make it as far as she did in life. Snaps for Ebony!
Guess what, girlies! I have ANOTHER interview from GIRLPOSSE.COM! It's becoming my new favorite website. I must send them flowers.
INTERVIEW
There are a couple of things you should know about Ebony. One - she's funny, a self-described clown. Two - she is smart as a whip. Extremely articulate and well spoken. Three - she would definitely do this again.Maybe what we see on TV isn't always the whole story...."they showed the last minute in situations, not the situation from the beginning."
It seemed from the first episode that Ebony was ultra-competitive and just a bit cold. We didn't find that when we interviewed the latest gal booted from the loft. "It wasn't as competitive as it seemed..... you were your own competition." She went on to describe living in the loft as "more of a sorority type of thing." She had "lots of fun". "It was really flowing, very friendly." But some of the prayer sessions led by Robin seemed to surprise her as well. As did the reaction to her wanting to invite her girlfriend, Kaa, over. "It was very interesting to see what their mind set was." Ebony went on to explain that given the situation, she was amazed by the adverse reaction from some of the other girls. "Shocked. I was shocked." She also conceded the fact that she is very private andattributedd a lot of the reaction to it being her that was gay. Kaa played an even bigger part than the tense moments on the show. It was she that saw the commercial for America's Next Top Model. She then went on-line and sent in an application for Ebony right "at the dead-line". Ebony hadn't modeled before, but it was always something she thought about and wanted.
We asked Ebony who she thought would win, and promptly turned the tables on us. "I still think I won. We're all so unique so it is hard to judge. Who do you think will win?" After quickly side-stepping that (since it keeps changing every week and our first pick was Ebony...) she told us that she believed Adrienne had the full package. "Great style and true to her personality. She wants it in her heart and it is important in her life. Elyse has a great chance, too. Or Robin could win. Anyone can."
The entire experience has only fueled Ebony's desire. "Look forward to seeing me" she told us as she continues pursuing her dream. And we do.......
What a character she is. I love how she thinks she has won... oh man... she hasn't. But let's just leave her be. Oh, I must share something with you! Ebony was in a magazine! She was even on the COVER! Click below!
Scroll all the way up to see the cover!
Scroll all the way up to see the cover!
I'm very proud of her. *claps and bows* Let's move on down to on-show time! Woooooooooot woooooooooot!
ON-SHOW
Honestly, Ebony did not have one good photo on the show. All of them were just... blah blah blah. And not like the Kesha song.
She appears lesbian-y. The muscles... the shoulders... everything just screams lesbian, ya know? Anyway, she looks like a distracted mental patient. Not loving this photo... The suit is obviously not her style... it doesn't look too hot on her. And I dislike how she grabs the suit... meh. This is bad.
Now let's view her first episode! She looked hella cold and she really did absolutely nothing in her photoshoot. How uninspiring. Meh meh meh!
She seems to be very well-mannered during judging... but all that changes as soon as she steps out of that room. Let's just say that Ebony has an opinion about everything and that her passion is talking, not modeling.
MOVING ON TO THE NEXT EPISODE MY BITCHES AND HOES!
I hate this... this is a trainwreck of a photo. Her smile is frightening, first of all... if I covered up her face, she'd look like a man. I'm not even exaggerating, y'all. She does NOT look good in pink, to say the least. This photo brings wrong to a whole new level. This makes me want to buy the swimsuit, yes... only to burn it the second I exit the store. And I'm done.
How did Ebony do in her second episode? I'm too lazy to post the second episode. It's boring, first of all. Just like the first episode. She did just as horribly. And she looks just as manly.
MOVING ON TO THE THIRD EPISODE!
Hiss hiss. Snakes! This was the episode with the shoot with snakes wrapped around the models' necks... yum.
No way, she looks like a penis-haver. I think it's physically impossible for her not to appear like a man. It's not as bad as her first two shots, but I'm definitely not liking it. She's just sitting there... I just yawned because of how bored I am when I look at this photo. The snake is doing a better job of modeling, in my humble opinion. The episode... here!
Ebony takes offense to the skin put-down. In the next episode, Ebony rubs greasy lotion all over her body... gross. All the girls are like... "ew!" and I certainly would be like that too. Here is Ebony's commercial in the fourth episode!
I'm glad she left here... buh-bye, Eb-Eb. Ooooo, I like that nickname for her! *grins devishly*
RANDOM PHOTO TIME!
How unattractive can you get? but I suppose she isn't trying to attract my type... considering I'm a penis-haver and all... WHY IS SHE WEARING PINK AGAIN? It seriously does not look cute at all. Moving on.
Now is the time where I share all the wise words that Ebony has uttered as she was on the show... please take these words to heart, because they are obviously very well thought out.
What an inspiration to us all. My favorite Cycle 1 moment of all time... Robin's prayer circle! Love when Ebony glares at the camera. Great smizing, my dear! And of course, possibly one of the greatest Ebony moments of all time... Ebony dislikes her makeover! Damn those unevenly-shaved heads! SCREW THEM ALL TO HELL, THOSE FUCKERS!
ANTM geniusness right there! *standing ovation* Ebony, you rock simply because of this clip. Thanks for being a huge-ass whiner! We wuv you!
PERSONAL OPINION
Ebony should've been the first one to leave... Tessa had a much better photo than Ebony's jank boring-ass atrocity. Although Ebony had many moments that just make ya chuckle, her photos and commercial were too gross to keep her. I wish that she would've been eliminated first. Oh, and that grease thing... gross. If you have bad skin, you aren't going to improve it by rubbing grease all over your body. I mean... are you stupid or something? I didn't like her look... I thought her beauty wasn't classic enough for her to be bald, and her look in general was too old and kind of grimy. If you dig it, hey, go for it. But I just don't get it.
RANDOM SHIT
Here are some of Ebony's personal shit, if you care that much.
Aaaaaaaand that's all I have. Wow, Ebony was a great contestant entertainment-wise... but she sucked model-wise. Don't quit your day job, sistah. I wonder if she's still with Kaa? I couldn't find any information about that relationship... bummer.
Anyway, I'll see you in the next entry when I blog about Giselle! *leaps in the air and poses*
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